Time To Move On
Since it's almost one year that my Mom died, I have realized that its time I tackle emptying out her bedroom. It's a beautiful room on the main floor of our house and some day it will become our bedroom, just not yet. Now some things have been taken out such as her mechanical reclining chair which I gave to a neighbour, and some of the photos on the walls but generally speaking, it's still pretty much the way she left it on that last day.
It's not that I haven't tried mind you, every once in a while I will take something out of the cupboards and put in a box and about half hour later I will go back in there and take it out and put it back on the shelf. My offspring did try to put some stuff away last year after the funeral but stopped when I had a meltdown. Most of the stuff he packed up I have since unpacked again. I think I have been living in a state of denial, in fact I know I have. I keep thinking she's coming home but of course that's foolish.
I also have all kinds of boxes in the basement filled with her treasures that she couldn't part with when she moved in with us. When she was still mobile, she'd come down to the basement once in a while and ask me to open a box to see what was in it. She'd always find one single thing and insist it had to come to her room with her. I always indulged her and when she wasn't looking take something else away. It wasn't a huge room, only about 300 square feet so space was at a premium.
It's time to claim this space as mine so I'm going to be very diligent in the next little while packing things up to send to Goodwill and some other stuff will go to a garage sale. My sweetie also has a garage full of stuff that needs to go and there is definitely some furniture in house I wouldn't mind seeing end of. So I'm going to be a bit busy for a while.
At the same it's tax time for us and being the slob that I am I have a whole years receipts, bills, contracts etc. to fix for the accountant. The appointment is fast creeping up on us so I'm up to my armpits in paper, grrr. If I could just learn to use Microsoft Excel and do my husbands invoices at the end of every job I wouldn't have to go through this every year. I'm going to have to make a concerted effort to learn it. I also have to prepare my Mom's final tax return and that's a bit more traumatic.
So that's my boring life, just paperwork and knitting...
Labels: Stuff
posted by Rositta @ Tuesday, April 08, 2008
13 Comments:
It was so hard to go through my mom and dad's home 2 years ago. It finally sold last August. I still have boxes of things to go through and sort to take to my sister's place in Virginia. It's still hard.
You do it when you feel ready. Make a nice nest for yourself that includes bits and pieces of your mum.
Hugs.
i understand completely the moving out of your mom's stuff. i had to do the same, she still lived in her own condo and it sold faster than we thought it would and i had to quickly go through it. horrible memories, i brought so much stuff home with me!!!
smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I totally understand. And I understand some of your offspring's motivation as well having to not only go through my parent's stuff but all of the ancestor stuff they had been the recipient of but just shoved the boxes in a corner and pretended they weren't there - he doesn't want to deal with more than one generation of ancestor stuff when his turn comes (but no one is implying that you are not destined for a long prosperous life.)
The issue of moving on though is trickier; and doesn't everybody have an opinion. Anyway, I found Joan Didion's process of working through her husband's sudden death and the long-term illness of her only daughter very helpful. You can find it in her book "The Year of Magical Thinking."
One step at a time, in your own time.
Kisses
DD
Oh, you have a hard row to hoe. My momma was a packrat, and fortunately much of it had been cleared away while she was still alive. We were forced to clear out her things, because she had her own home (which had to be sold). Good luck with it. I'm sending good thoughts your way.
And, the taxes? I got mine done early last month, and it was such a relief! Keep plugging!
I can;t imagine how hard it would be to go through mom's things. Take as much time as you need. Taxes, however, is something I relate to--unfortunately! We just learned we owe $8000 due to a relocation to Germany. Yikes!
I'm sure it's difficult for you Rositta, but only you know when it's time, no one else.
Tax time, horrible. We seem to owe lots of money this year. Ugh.
It has been 2 ½ years since my dad passed away and I think of him most days. I still miss him, but I can also now think of him with a smile. So this winter I have been wearing my father’s snug and warm winter coat, which added a cosy feeling to it. When my mother gave me this, his last coat, I found a shop receipt in one of the pockets. It was probably from the last time he went to buy any groceries on his own, and it brought a tear to my eye. Later this year I will attend my nephew’s wedding, wearing my dad’s old shirt buttons, which my mother said I should have because she had found a picture of me as a little boy in the case with the buttons. He meant for me to have them, she claimed. We all need time, give yourself some, Rositta, and stay positive.
I am taking all advice to heart. I have been having trouble with one foot and searching for shoes that I can actually walk in. Today, cleaning out the closet I found my Mom's shoes that we bought last spring. She wore them four times. I put them on, they fit, they were comfortable and I wore them today.
Interesting you finding those shoes..it seems at times I've come across something of my Grandmother's and thought - she's still helping me. :)
I wouldn't call that boring, I call all of those things important.
Well the taxes are done and we survived, just barely... There was even enough money to buy a sexy pair of sandals for me. Hope I can wear them...
What you're going through is so reminiscent of what I was experiencing just a short 18 months gone by. It is still not over and the Feds have held out their hands to us for a re-evaluation of my mom's 2006 tax return on her estate. Thank God for a good accountant.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home