For Leonard Cohen Lovers

Here's a link to the complete London Concert. I adore Leonard Cohen so I've watched this twice now.

I don't want to write about the ridiculous panic over the swine flu, I find it just a bit over the top how the media are handling this thing. I do have a supply of Tamiflu on hand though, just in case. I had occasion to go to two different hospitals this week and there seem to be no special precautions in place other than the usual hand sanitizers which I tend to use out of habit anyway. I also wash my hands often.

The first hospital visit was for an annual checkup on my left hip replacement. At the same time they did x-rays for the right hip and both knees. Then I saw the ortho surgeon who asked me did I want the bad news or the really bad news. Bad news is that both knees are going fast and really bad news is the right hip will need replacement soon. Meanwhile to buy me a little extra time I'm having a cortisone shot in the hip joint Monday. I'm told it may or may not work and it's going to hurt.

My second hospital visit (different hospital), they did have someone sitting at the front door asking had I been to Mexico recently. I shook my head no, sanitized my hands and was on my way. More x-rays this time on my foot. The good news is that the surgeon thinks he can fix my foot. He will break the bone where it healed badly, insert a steel plate and also fix my two hammertoes at the same time. Bad news, six weeks in a cast, good news, he can do it June 17th which gives me enough time to heal before heading off to Greece in September. Bad news, not much cottaging going to happen this summer and I still have all that unglazed pottery to be finished, grrr. Guess a girl can't have it all so overall, I'm happy, kind of...

Morning Sickness - Smarter Kids

When I was pregnant, 44 years ago, I spent the first four months puking my guts out. The doctor of the day prescribed Thalidomide but I didn't take it. I'm not sure if it was what would become a lifelong aversion to drugs that made me not take it or divine intervention, nevertheless it was lucky for me and the offspring that I didn't. Thalidomide as we all know caused severe birth defects in babies, one of which turned out to be the child of a neighbour. This baby was born with flippers for arms and feet. It was very sad and because there was very little support for these parents in those days, the child was sent to an institution.

Now there is a new study out that women who suffer from severe morning sickness produce brighter children. So there you go offspring, no matter what other horrible genetic markers you got from me, at least your smart.

Ms.Homeland Security Secretary - Do Your Research

Janet Napolitano, do your friggin research before shooting off your mouth on Canadian national television and spouting your crap.When I saw her interview on tv a couple of days ago I couldn't believe the sheer stupidity and ignorance of the words I was hearing, this from the woman is charged with protecting Ameria's borders.

One more time, the 9/11 terrorists did NOT come from Canada. "The furor began when Napolitano was asked to clarify statements she had made about equal treatment for the Mexican and Canadian borders, despite the fact that a flood of illegal immigrants and a massive drug war are two serious issues on the southern border."

Here's what she said yesterday during a CBC interview. The entire interview can be found here.

"Yes, Canada is not Mexico, it doesn't have a drug war going on, it didn't have 6,000 homicides that were drug-related last year," she said.

"Nonetheless, to the extent that terrorists have come into our country or suspected or known terrorists have entered our country across a border, it's been across the Canadian border. There are real issues there."

When asked if she was referring to the 9-11 terrorists, Napolitano added: "Not just those but others as well."

She also said this;

"The fact of the matter is that Canada allows people into their country that we do not allow into ours," she said.

Has anyone told her yet that the 9/11 guys were issued visas from the U.S. and lived and went to flying school there, not in Canada. We up here in the Great White North are getting a little pissed whenever we hear that crap. First Hilary Clinton started the rumour without checking and now it continues all these years later. You can read the whole story here and here.

Of course now she's backpedalling, heck seems to a common thing out of Washington these days. She's caused a hell of a diplomatic war.

Later this week I have Dr. Sanjay Gupta in my crosshairs, someone else who should do a little research before he opens his mouth.

Happy Birthday Elliotte

Today my fourth grandchild Elliotte is celebrating her second birthday.

She was born about three weeks before my Mom died in May of 2007. Every day I brought new pictures of Elliottte to the hospital hoping that Mom would rally. Two of my three grandsons came from Calgary and sat with her around the clock. She would have loved this little girl. She reminds me of my Mom every time I look at her, I think it's her smile.

Happy Birthday darling girl, your proud and loving grandmother.

Why?

Canadians get ready to repatriate another fallen hero from Afghanistan. She will be coming along the Highway of Heroes tomorrow. Karine Blais was 21 years old and the second woman killed in Afghanistan.

Why?

Meanwhile, Afghan women are stoned for demonstrating against a law that would legalize marital rape.

Why?

Afghan President Hamid Karzai signs this abominable law and then says maybe he'd have another look at it after worldwide outrage.

For this we are sending our young men and women to die.

Why?

The Suffering Is Over

Yesterday afternoon my Mother-In-Law, Lela died. She was 83 years old and had an incredibly invasive thyroid cancer that had spread. She died of heart failure.

I first met Lela in 1984 shortly after I took up with her son. I had spoken to her on the phone once before I met her where she quizzed me on my heritage, my intentions, my son and my family. I didn't take it personally. I understood her concern for her son. Good thing I didn't tell her I didn't really know my intentions, not then anyway.

She visited us frequently for extended stays over the years and life with her wasn't always easy. She was frugal in the extreme and watched like a hawk over how I ran my household. Those were the days when I was still working as a real estate agent and I tended to be a bit careless especially if I was very busy. We had a few head butts along the way but always sorted those out. I think it was a game with her, she had no real objections to me. I think the only thing that really mattered to her was that I loved her son. Once that was established she was incredibly generous with me more so than her own daughter and I know she loved me although she didn't tell me, at least not until much later. And I loved her.

During one of her visits my son who was at University in a different city, came home for the weekend and brought along all his dirty laundry. As he was heading to the basement to toss his clothes in the washer Lela was outraged and I mean really really outraged, that I let him do his own laundry. It's a funny memory now, one of many, but at the time it wasn't funny. I explained that in Canada boys of eighteen know how to do laundry and furthermore he'd been doing it for years and occasionally even did mine. Only Greeks would understand this I think, she didn't talk to me for a couple of days after that.

Lela's life was not easy. She was born and raised in Greece, married young, had three children and was widowed in her late twenties. As a young widow with three children she did an amazing job of raising them all. She never remarried preferring her life alone. She found work baking for restaurants, taking in laundry and cleaning homes. Just about the work available for women without formal education in post war Greece.

When my husband immigrated to American in the early 70's and her daughter to Canada around the same time she chose to move to California with Steve. It didn't take her long to find employment; she loved cooking, cleaning and taking care of people. The jobs she preferred were as live in caregiver to the elderly.

When Steve moved to Canada in 1984 she decided to return to Greece. She had a house there and it was time for her to stop working. She still made trips to Canada every couple of years until her heart started giving her grief. After that Steve would go visit her for a month every year and because I had my own family obligations I couldn't go with him. Two years ago after my Mom died I started going with Steve to spend time with her.

Two years ago she told me that she loved me the first time ever. She also told me that now that my own Mom was no longer with us, she was my new mother.

Last year for her birthday I knit her a shawl. Steve has promised me that she will be buried in it. Since I couldn't see her and hug her before she died, this is my forever hug.

Now not only does Steve not have a Mom any more, neither do I. This will always be my favourite photo of Lela...may she rest in peace.

The Right To Die With Dignity - Not In Greece

At 3 Pm this afternoon Greek time my mother- in- law passed away. May she rest in peace.
Rositta


I keep writing this post in my mind and by the time I get to type it, it's gone. Is that a sign of dementia or just stress. Beats me. bemoan the fact that here I am sitting all alone in my house going into week two but forgetting that poor Steve is stuck in Greece trying to understand and navigate the Greek medical system.

No we won't operate, yes we will operate, no there's no hope, yes we want to do radiation, yes we will remove the breathing tube, no we don't do that here it's against he law and on and on it goes. The Hippocratic oath is frequently quoted to him and he no longer knows what to tell me. Will she die, won't she die, in pain, not in pain...get on the treadmill and hope that you can get off again.

The amount of intervention is beyond belief when you consider two things, 1. my mother in law is 83 years old and 2. the cancer has spread from her thyroid to her lungs and areas beyond.

Somehow the Orthodox Greeks do not believe in letting a person die peacefully, oh no, horrors..we have to intervene until the bitter end. When will it come, nobody knows. My MIL is being transferred out of the hospital now that they've cut her up and put her on life support to a rehab type facility where Steve has been told she could live for months like that. There has been talk of trying to wake her up and I can only imagine the horror when she discovers what's been done to her and that she can't even talk.

Right this very moment I am glad I am not there to witness this...

For Your Enjoyment - And Mine

If this doesn't make you smile I don't know what will.. I've watched it over and over tonight.



I need a little help tonight, the news from Greece is not good.

What The #&%@

And it ain't over yet... good thing the snow tires are still on my car. By morning we are meant to have 15 cm of this stuff. I almost took them off last week.

My MIL survived the surgery and is currently in a medically induced coma. My husband is so angry that the doctors did not come to talk to the family after the surgery so they no clue what's going on. The nurses also don't speak and if asked why they are doing something the response is "because we were told to". Different country, different customs and very scary.

Two Years Ago

My beloved Mother was in hospital. She had already been there for two weeks with heart arrhythmia and we were waiting for an MRI that never happened. I was also waiting for them to give her a pacemaker which didn't happen until four weeks later. One week later she died. She died on May 12, 2007 one day before Mothers Day.

I am reliving that time as I wait for my twice daily updates from Greece on the condition of my Mother In Law. Today my MIL was intubated since she could no longer breathe on her own. I understand that this was a difficult procedure as the tumor from the thyroid had wrapped itself around the larynx. Tomorrow they will operate to try and remove as much of that tumor as possible.

My mother went into a coma the day before she died and no one was ever able to explain why. I was told that if I wanted to have her intubated I was only prolonging the inevitable. If she couldn't breathe on her own she would die, it was only a matter of time.

I chose to let her go as peacefully as possible. It was a difficult decision, probably the most difficult one I've ever had to make in my life. My husband stood by me in this time of crisis. I am unable to do the same for him. We are thousands of miles apart. I am sitting here alone in my house crying and unable to tell him, let her go. Don't cause unnecessary suffering. It won't change the outcome, the cancer has spread too far and wide. But I cant tell him that, not on the phone. Besides, he's not the only one to make decisions. Both my BIL and SIL want her kept alive at any cost. I suspect that even if my MIL had made her wishes known it wouldn't matter at all in the end. Things are different in Greece. Tomorrow will be a hard day.

The sad part in all of this...last September I sensed there was something not quite right. She seemed unnaturally short of breath and spent too much time sleeping. I brought it up with both my husband and my SIL and was assured that the doctor thought it was just her heart and the medicine she was taking. She was also hospitalized last March briefly and no one checked her over. The doctor now says this cancer has been growing at least 8 years and had it been caught even last year she would have had a fighting chance. Now, I think it's a crap shoot...

Heroic Medical Intervention - Who Decides

My husband flew to Greece to be at his very ill Mom's bedside on Thursday. Things are not looking good. She has thyroid cancer which has metastasized to the lungs and lymph nodes. She is having difficulty breathing.

Steve is not alone there, he has his brother and sister for support and I get twice daily updates. The brother (who considers himself head of the family) has decided in his wisdom that there would be surgery to remove the thyroid. The doctor has said it's the only way to allow her to breathe and not asphyxiate to death. He has also said that he would not be able to get all the cancer but there would be follow up radiation which would buy her some time, may 6 to 8 months. A cure is not in the cards. The health care system in Greece is public but surgeons are always given a few thousand Euros under the table. I can't help but wonder if this is why he wants to operate.

I have two concerns and have voiced them to my husband but really I have no input here. The first is that they have not told her about the surgery only that she will feel better on Monday! The second is that my MIL is 83 years old. How in the world will she be able to cope with radiation assuming she survives the surgery. Oh yes, did I mention, the doctor gives only a 50/50 chance that she will survive the surgery. Steve is torn I sense that, he said to me "if they don't operate she will die and I can't watch it". I know exactly how he feels having gone through it with both my parents.

All I can do is hope for the best possible outcome on Monday. I won't say what I think that should be. All I know is this; my MIL should have been given a choice to decide for herself.

When The Phone Rings At 6 AM

It's either a wrong number or bad news. In our case it was bad news.

Two years ago my mother who had congestive heart failure had a fall. In April she was admitted to hospital. Seven weeks later she died.

A few weeks ago my mother-in-law in Greece who suffers from congestive heart failure had a fall and was admitted to a rehab hospital to recover. She has been there for seven weeks. This morning she was admitted to a real hospital.

My mother was 84 years old when she died, my mother-in-law is 84 years old. I was knitting a pair of socks for my mother when she died and I just sent a pair of socks to my mother-in-law. I'm very spooked this morning.

My mother-in-law is very dear to me and my husband is distraught. He may have to leave for Greece any day. He finally has an appointment for surgery on his hand after waiting so many months and we may have to cancel it. I won't be able to fly to Greece with him. Just yesterday I saw the eye doc for a follow up and he told me my vision had gone from 20/200 to 20/40 after the surgery. For some reason I asked him when I could fly and he said four weeks.

I don't know how this is going to end but I don't have good feelings. I hope I'm wrong...